Losing a child is a heart break that will never mend

Ray Zachry with his sister Kathy and brother Paul. Ray was 3 years old. Ray is the reason for Justice for Raymond. We miss him.

A successful man is one who can build a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. – David Brinkley quotations.

Recovering from a life altering, disastrous situation takes time on a long and tangled path. Some will never see the end or recover.  When the event is the loss of a child – life is never the same.

It is hard to hear someone say to a grieving parent or sibling, “I understand what you’re feeling, I lost someone close, or pet once,” because no one has any conception of the deep emotional feeling that happens when a parent loses a child. There is no comparison.

First there is disbelief, then a soul shaking, chest aching pain, then sorrow, tears – then the anger.  Why?  Why my son/daughter?

It is not natural for a parent to outlive their children.  We, as parents work with one goal; to make a good life for our family and children.

Often overlooked is the grief endued by a sibling who try to be brave for their parents. They hurt too, they miss their little brother or big brother; or sister and they hurt to see their parents so upset.

Closure: I hate that word! There is no closure to a part of you that just died…

The missing plate at the table, going through the deceased childs personal things….how to part with anything they held dear…seeing someone in a crowd who looks strikingly similar; a hat, jacket – the way someone walks, a smile….and hear a familiar, “Mom!” from somewhere always gets every mom in at a gathering.

Take the bricks, build the foundation not for a wall, for a path to healing, and healing will slowly come.  The emptiness will always be there, tears when you least expect them and calling their name, dreams they are home again – but life goes on and so will we until we all meet again.


9 responses to this post.

  1. I shudder to imagine …
    Blessings to you and yours …



  2. Posted by Eliana on July 31, 2012 at 7:02 am

    post has been excellent and i have referred it to many of my friends. my honour for the work that you have done. thank you once again.



  3. I clicked the ‘like’ button but really I can’t ‘like’ the post. I wish you had never had reason to write it, and my heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine losing one of my five wonderful sons (all now adult). I looked for a blog detailing the loss, but I couldn’t find one.



    • thank you for the LIKE and visiting Justice for Raymond. I am re-posting today the original story since many have followed since I posted that as my first story. Documents, including police report, forged will, and autopsy that has redacted quantity in the toxicology and strange notes on other go unexplained. According to those toxicology reports, Ray had a huge quantity of one lethal chemical and higher than normal of another.
      Documents are posted at the web site: http://www.denied-justice.com

      The next court appearance is August 8, 2012. The four defendants were arrested in May 2011 and have had one delay after another since 2011.

      Thank you, and all the others that have followed as we try to persuade the coroner to re-investigate the case.



  4. Posted by arkansastruthseeker on July 23, 2012 at 12:11 am

    Reblogged this on Upside Down and commented:
    Demand Justice For Raymond



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